I need your help to keep my daughter safe
Posted by: AngelaMar 28 2008, 12:23 pm
I love to commute with my youngest daughter. 
(This is my precious Libby.) Pulling the bike and trailer out of the garage every chilly morning and loading up with toys, computer, lunches, rain gear and everything else we need for the day brings me joy. But lately my own happiness, confidence and safety have been threatened and I'm very frustrated.
My daily commute takes me from the inner SE Buckman neighborhood to SW 12th and Market to drop my girl at preschool. Then I head back over to NW for work. Like most cyclists in Portland I'm very cognizant of traffic laws as well as the traffic around me, especially when my kid is in tow. Libby has even taken to honking her frog horn "when adults aren't safe".
But, a few weeks back after dropping Libby off at preschool I was tailgated, harassed and yelled at: "That's against the law!" the disrespectful motorist yelled, I yelled, "No it's not!", she yelled "it's a good thing there's no kid in that trailer!"
Once I arrived at work I had to take a walk to calm down. I had never been openly judged for commuting with my kid so it was a new experience for me to have to reconcile. I spent the day wondering if it's worth it to have to deal with uneducated drivers who are a far greater threat to my child and me than most anything else on the road. I talked it out with coworkers and friends and came to the conclusion that, if nothing else, that run-in just makes it even more important for me to continue to make the choice to go by bike with my daughter. The fact is that the more cyclists there are on the road, the safer the road is.
All was well in mama commuting land until incident number two. On my way up SW Clay with Libby in the trailer I was harassed again. At the top of the hill a tailgating driver buzzed by me, passing in my lane within inches of the trailer and therefore both my daughter and me, and then slammed on brakes in order to avoid hitting a pedestrian in a crosswalk. A block later the car stopped and the driver got out. She glared at me shaking her head, so as I passed I said in as diplomatic a voice as I could summon, "You should really slow down, you're going to kill someone driving like that."
And she yelled at me, "You should really find a better mother for that child."
Whoa. Ever have one of those earth-stopping moments when your vision starts to swirl and you feel like everything you believe in has just been crushed?
Thankfully Libby pulled me back to reality by honking her frog horn.
We made it to school OK, I made it to work OK, and then I broke down. How dare anyone judge me as a mother for choosing to make a transportation choice that fits my values and is protected by law? Even Libby has declared that when she grows up she will always bike "because it's just better mama." 
But how dare that driver threaten my child and me with her car and her words? It's hard to understand, but this mama bear is ready to swat anyone or anything else that comes near my cub.
Because of my recent experience I fear there will be a life-threatening or deadly crash involving a cyclist and trailer occupant in the near future so I'm asking anyone who reads this for help. Get on your bike and commute to work so that Libby and I can be more safe. Also, sign up to participate in this May's Walk and Bike to School Challenge Month or just bike with your children and teach them to ride safely on their own.
Whatever you choose to do, please follow the rules and best practices of the road. And in case you’re wondering, I refuse to quit commuting, so if you get stuck behind me and get frustrated, well, you can just kiss my big fat trailer's fanny.
thanks for speaking out. as a car-free parent, sympathy comes easy. every time i leave the sweet bubble of inner SE portland with son aboard, i am reminded how good we have it, yet the gratitude leaves me sad.
It's too bad these car-heads feel like they need to bully and harass others. Don't let them get you down! Remember also that road rage isn't limited to cyclists.
I am astounded at this type of ignorant aggression. I am a car-free parent myself, and my son is a regular part of my commute by bike. I applaud your decision to keep riding.
I rarely, if ever, post on blogs–and I found your entry here purely by chance. I appreciate your sharing these incidents. I could feel my own heart rate rise as I read your story about the second incident!
I am fortunate enough to bike with my 3-year-old in his trailer in and through a neighborhood here in Salt Lake City in which there is little car traffic, numerous bikes, and a well-known preschool, where he attends. I feel pretty safe all in all. But if motorists in as "bike friendly" a city as Portland will make comments as ignorant as THAT motorists, that makes me want to take extra care.
It doesn't help matters that driving a car–whether there are cyclists around or not–is inherently incredibly stressful!
I've been a little lax about the bike recently–no excuse beyond a pretty bad sore throat–but I'll be back on it Monday morning!
Wow. Just wow. I routinely take my daughters on various errands. While I try my best to avoid busy streets, there is a short (50 yards or so) portion where I have to ride on a four lane, 35 MPH road.
Most people think they are being nice when the question the safety of it. The comment is almost always, "Do you care about their safety?"
I wonder what makes getting to the stoplight 10 seconds faster more important than someone's life.
On a side note, where did you get the sign for the trailer? I want one of those.
wow… that is terrible. I'm thankful that no one was hurt. Keep pressing on.
I've been thinking a lot about how screwed up our thinking about energy and transportation is lately, as the signs of peak oil and the permanent transition to a much lower energy economy become stronger and stronger.
A post at a bicycling blog (www.recumbentblog.com/2008/03/29/the-bicycle-toy-or-tool/ ) helped crystallize something I've been mulling over — how do we undo the damage caused by the "Driver's Ed" moment that serves, for most people in our society, as the only clear dividing line between childhood and adulthood? That is, people think of bikes as kids' toys and cars as "adult" because you have to take a special class and pass a test to drive a car.
How about we reorganize our thinking and start licensing people to use the roadways instead?
That is, instead of giving people a license to drive, we create a single roadway user's license with various endorsements for various modes — so if someone wants to use the roads on a bicycle, they get the basic roadway user's license; if they want to add a motorcycle endorsement, they can use the roads on a motorcycle; and if they want to add an automobile endorsement, then they can drive a car (and so on up through commercial vehicle licenses …).
The point being that everyone (except those waived due to physical disability) who wants to get one of the motorized endorsements has to get the basic license first, which teaches how to be a basic non-motorized road user and tests the person's ability to ride a bike safely. We wouldn't have to use the DMV — schools and community groups (YMCA, Scouting organizations, neighborhood centers) could be trained to administer the tests and grant the basic license to anyone 10 or older, upon completion of a basic course of instruction, and it would provide safety training, basic rules of the road, explain the helmet and its use, etc.
You could exempt current motorized license holders if you think teaching older folks how to be bicyclists is too much to ask (although I think we should not).
I think this would help people's thinking a lot — they would start to see that bikes are valid road users, and it would sure help bike safety if every motorized road user had firsthand experience as a bike-only user.
John,
At my first read of your proposal, it seams to make sense. I'd be willing to hear it debated in a public forum. It is a very thought provoking idea.
Scott
Great article. Keep it up and don't let a few haters change your decisions and lifestyle.
The recumbent blog has this great comment from a Dutchman:
It's hard to keep a clear head in situations like that but I'd just say call the cops, get a plate number, press charges and contact the media. You aren't a "militant cyclist"! You are a mother who loves her child. I know the newspapers and tv are probably flooded with bicycle related stuff out your way but I think your story would catch their attention. It would get out to a much wider audience and hopefully some good could come from it.
I've been contemplating documenting all my rides with a helmet cam to document the situation for cyclists here in New Jersey and also just in case the worst (or not so bad) happens. You may want to do the same.
Rick -
Thanks for the kind thoughts and keep up the great work.
The patch can be bought at Microcosm Publishing:
http://www.microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/title/1080/
There's been some debate over the validity of it since it doesn't really state the full law, but I like the quick, simple impact it provides when I'm focused on my job – getting there safely with my kiddo!
Happy riding!
Angela, my blood is boiling just like yours must be. I've had similar run-ins simply walking across the street (in the legal crossing area!) with my kids, where I've screeched in terror as someone continued to hurtle toward me without slowing down, narrowly missing me. just how important IS getting to that next red light? certainly not worth killing someone. or maybe, just maybe, that red light is that important.
I refuse to drive a car (though these days, given I have a small-ish baby, I'm still doing most of my travelling on the bus) and it seems that, if we're making the choice to keep fossil fuels out of the atmosphere, the least others around us could do is allow us to follow the law without making us feel like prey.
I'm buying one of those patches, because we're gearing up to get all three kids on the bike, I'm definitely ready to help keep Libby (and Everett and Truman and Monroe and Tati and Philly and Carter and Cole and Milo and Calvin and all the other little ones I know) safe in Portland!
Right on Angela. I read this powerful story with tears in my eyes and thought…how courageous of you to keep on going, with Libby in tow after such a discouraging event. I want to say thank you to you and Libby for not backing down during such a vulnerable circumstance and keeping on going to give us cyclists more awareness. Because that is what we need.
I have bicycled with my 2 kids for 6 years in Olympia and have worn out a trailer during that time. I always had a feeling that bike trailers are visible, drivers give you space. On Saint Patrick's day that illusion disappeared as I was hit in the crosswalk after dropping my kid off at daycare. The trailer was crushed under the front of the car, I was dragged under the middle. I have spent a month driving every day, being thankful we were not seriously hurt, and thinking about my transportation choices. I just bought another bike and trailer and am going to commute by bike, with my kid – for my health, for the health of the planet, and because as a good mother I want to share my values with my kids.
Wonderful post. I share your frustrations and have recently had two different parents say that our sons could not have a play date because my way of getting my son home from school, 11 blocks away, is my bike–my bakfiets.
I think we should have bicycle share the road signs through-out citys and especially near intersections to show motorist that we are allowed on the roads! and why not have commercials on television that envoke bike safety on the roads to educate oblivious motorist also! we need to get our message out!