Bicycle, pedestrian and skate advocates gathered last Friday to celebrate Car Free Day, creating a European-style plaza on SW Ankeny between 2nd and 3rd Avenues, downtown. The celebration featured an alternative-fuels consumption contest, with day-old but delicious fuel donated by nearby VooDoo Doughnut.

The Bicycle Transportation Alliance, with a take-no-prisoners competitive spirit last displayed at the 10k Flat Tire MAX Track Relay in 2005, dominated. “When I saw the messengers I was like, ‘Oh damn, it’s all over,� said BTA eater Sabrina Gogol, breathless from chewing. “Those little caps and the seat belt buckles on their bags and the calf muscles – how can you out-eat someone like that? They ride track bikes up to the Zoo for fun!. Crazy. But we did it. WE DID IT!! WOOOOOOOO!"

Team BTA ate 21 donuts in the 5-minute speed competition, besting by far the second-place teams, who tied with 17 donuts each. The reigning donut champions, Breakfast on the Bridges, having signed lucrative sponsorship deals with Broadway Cab and Hawthorne Auto Clinic, Inc., diversified this year into two teams, Breakfast on the Broadway and Breakfast on the Hawthorne, a decision that turned out to be strategically unwise. Breakfast stock took a 30-point hit on Wall Street Monday morning as investors responded to weekend reports of the loss.

Umpire Carl Larson attributed Team BTA’s success to the eleventh-hour draft of Portland Office of Transportation staffer (and BTA Board member) Linda Ginenthal, who arrived at the site to find that her POOT coworkers had pooted out. A few quiet words in the dugout from Michelle Poyourow, BTA Coach and on-field captain, brought her around to a one-night contract and glory.

Forming an early game plan also made a difference, says Poyourow. “I rearranged all the donuts on the donut table, putting all the crullers and unfrosted old-fashioned and tiny banana donuts in front of us. I was sure I’d get busted, but everyone was too busy eyeing stomach-packing chocolate peanut butter fritters to notice. Hey, it’s not cheating, it’s strategy!�

“We are really really good at burning gasoline these days,� said BTA eater Jose Rodriquez. “I’m willing to try out something new! I’ve never used donuts before. How do you get them in the tank?� Rodriguez was awarded MVP for the event, putting away 5 ½ donuts, three of them in the last minute of the contest, showing off the stamina and acceleration that made him famous at the 1999 Nebraska Championship Steer Horn Gnaw.

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